Come on ladies, any of you looking for a straight up guy? Not looking for games. Not lookin' for daddies. I see you tryin' to dodge my calls to look like you're busy...boom, I'm out. I see you coming home drunk from the bar on a work night...boom, I'm out. I see you dancin' on some other guy to try and make me jealous...boom. Got crabs...boom. Can't swim...boom. Jewish mom...boom. Scars...boom. Trump...Kaboom. Late...you may as well have called in a bomb threat, I'm out. Don't want me hangin' out with my football friends? Grab a broom cause you're boomed. Married? Get a room, cause your super boomed. Drugs? I don't do bloomers, I go boomers. Straight up guy, looking for straight up girl. No crazies. Capiche?