I'm just like every other girl out there. I keep getting seduced by guitar players and baristas! Why can't I escape the snake charm, snake oil tactics of these men? Is it the way guitar players use their fingers? Is it the unabashed confidence they posess to stand in front of a large audience? Is it the smell of the coffee and an association of arousal? WTF is it?!
This is how it usually happens. I get asked out by a really nice guy, a normal guy. Things are going well albeit a little BORING as in he's not a seriously seasoned snake and then whoooop in walks sultry guitar player charismatic barista guy and I'm done. Sweeps me off my feet with the hypnotic bean brewing tunes a la charisma du jour and nice guy splits. Months later (if that) I get abandonment issues galore cause snake guy has his fan base to attend to and can't give me his full undivided attention. We have a messy break up. He stage dives into a literal pool of pussy and I'm left a slobbery mess of runny self-esteem watching seasons 1-7 of the Office. Cause 8 and 9 just suck!
I'm really telling it how it is. Snake guy is like seasons of the Office 8-9. You'll wish you never went there. They will leave you feeling like you made a huge mistake. I'm sure you'll make the same mistake like I did...you know why? The NUMBER ONE reason these guys are so attractive...every girl wants them. They have access to us and we give them the attention and they EXCUDE it. Boycott coffee boy fiddle guy girls! Let's take our power back.
Guitar Guy and Barista Boy