August 20, 2021
Recently Cancelled And Looking For A Distraction
Just got cancelled and now I'm looking for someone to fill in my time until I get reINSTAted. I saw my Instagram followers drop off like, well, planking Instagrammers, and I felt completely empty inside. When I look in my Lululemon mirror I don't see the person I used to be, I see a person...usually Derek...and sometimes Monique. How am I supposed to find myself when those two are dominating and obviously killing it on their feed? Seeing those two is a constant reminder that not only did I lose 1500 dollars, I lost all of the artificial dignity I worked really hard for. So now I have this gigantic void (Not in my room...I also got a Peloton) but on my page and in my body in this weird place where I think a heart is supposed to be. The man I am looking for has a ton of followers and is ready to start tagging any minute.