There once was a girl a bit too thick
She ate so much on our date it made me sick
I still took her home
But when we started to bone
I could see the lass was sportin' a dick
This be what happens to ya when ya drink too many Mickey's fore ya write the personal ads (not to mention go on dates ya met of the Craigslist). True story that. Not into the dude's cept the one other time I don't wish ta spill the beans about. I'm good at a few things, gettin' drunken hammered and still have a way with the ladies. Me accent they'll take it or leave it even if I'm pissed. Writin' a limerick or seven, bein' a general romantic and other kinds of real manly traits, ya know? Did I mention I have an accent? Aye. Know there's a special lady for me readin' this now. All I have ta ask is please for the love of God no more stiff cocks. Is it too hard a request?!